Apali vs Apele

Everyone hears stories of people totally embarrassing themselves when they try to learn a language. You try to say one thing, but than say something completely different, hilarity ensues, and you are incredibly embarrassed.

My goal was for this not to happen to me. I was going to be careful when pronouncing my words, and not put myself in any embarrassing situations. Unfortunately that goal did not last very long.

To improve my Tongan vocabulary, I keep a notepad with me so that I can write down new words when they come up in conversation. I hear the word, try to write it down correctly, and then show it to the Tongans I know. They than either say io (yes) if it is correct or ikai (no) if it is wrong and correct me.

The method had been working out pretty well, and I had written down a ton of words. I had not considered, however, that Tongans have a wicked sense of humor and love to joke. So one night I was having dinner with Faiana, Fusi, the families of two other volunteers including a 5 year old girl, and my language instructor, Taua. Everyone spoke English, but they talked mostly in Tongan so we could learn the language and try to decipher what they were saying.

I was eating an apple, and I used the little Tongan I knew to ask how to say apple in Tongan. I heard apali, wrote it down, and showed it the Tongan women next to me. One of them smiled and said io, signaling I was correct. So for the rest of the night I kept using the word apali to refer to apple. All of the Tongans were laughing like crazy but I figured it was just because all of us were struggling with the language, so I just smiled and went along with it.

For the next few days, whenever I asked for an apple – which was actually a lot because I used it in practice sentences and I eat three apples a day in Tonga – people laughed but I thought it was because of my speaking ability, or lack there of. After several days of saying apali, my language instructor informed me that the correct way to say apple is apele (it may not seem like it but these two words are pronounced very differently) and that I have been saying vagina for the past few days.

Apparently, pali means vagina in Tongan and all the women were dying as I kept saying vagina repeatedly. Tongan’s are pretty conservative, and talking about sex is very taboo, so for everyone who was rolling on floor laughing I am sure I mortified just as many.

You will be happy to know, however, that everything worked out ok, as I am now able to say apple correctly in Tongan and can walk around town without any shame.

Thus the moral of this story is that when you are trying to speak Tongan, try not to mistake the word apple – apele – for vagina – pali.

 Hanging out with Sione.

Peace Corps Tonga Group 77 on our arrival in Tonga (As you can see I am kind of tired)

Enjoying my first bowl of kava at the welcoming ceremony

My first swim in Tongan waters. This is me jumping off a Tongan Navy boat for our swim safety lesson in Nuku'alofa.