The Road Less Traveled : Sports Day

Last Friday was Sports Day, the day where every GPS – Government Primary School – conducts a series of track events with the other schools in their region. My school, part of the East Region, practiced all week to prepare for the events. School was taught in the mornings, and then every afternoon after lunch, we would race. Quickly, much to my delight I must admit, I became the Sports Czar for my school, leading all the efforts in warming up, practicing the events, teaching the proper technique, and recording the results so we would know who should run what event when Sports Day occurred.

This week was probably the most fun I have had in school to date. My regular classes went well and then I loved coaching the sports. The kids were incredibly excited to run and compete and they were hilarious to watch. They would fall left and right. The sack races, with over half the kids never making it, left everyone in tears. The hurdles – somehow we have adjustable hurdles that we use 5 times a year but not enough books or pencils for our students – with the kids continuously jumping around, running through, and tripping over them was equally amusing.

We practiced all the events. 800 meters. 400 meters. 200 and 100 meters. Relay races, sack races, and sprints for the little kids in Class 1 and 2. I taught the kids how to start with, “On your mark, Get set, Go!” and showed them how to properly pass the stick during the relay races. By Friday we were ready.

I hopped on the bus with all of my students and their families, many others also coming in cars, to GPS Ha’alaufuli. The school was packed. My school only has 40 students, but 2 of the other schools have as many as 180 kids so the odds were certainly stacked against us. All of the teachers, students, and parents were there. The lawn was freshly mowed and track lines were drawn into it. All of the kids were in their school colors. Yellow for us, and red, green, and blue for the remaining schools.

The day was a ton of work. It was unbelievably hot and I was running all around the place making sure my students were where they were supposed to be. It was so much fun though. I loved watching all of the events, especially when juggling for the girls is considered a field event in Tonga. Being a small school, my students did not win many events, but my class 5 boys cleaned up, and the Class 5 boys, one Class 4 girl, and two Class 6 boys did well enough to compete in the all GPS sports day in the capital next week.

Two particular events are worth further mentioning as well. The first is that Sports day is considered a food day, meaning that all of the parents bring tons of food for themselves, the kids, and the teachers. The food was everywhere. Root Crop, Fried Fish, Chicken, and Pig. I was absolutely bombarded by food. The moment my plate was even close to being finished, heaps of food was dumped into my lap. It was all tasty, and following my principle of eating in Tonga – when you actually like the food, eat a lot of it – I ate until I was fit to burst.

The second event is more of a phenomenon. This phenomenon is Tongan women. At every event, be it sports, dances, or whatever, the women, mostly the married mothers between then ages of 30 and 50 are by the far the best part. They are absolutely hysterical. Also, please remember that most of these women are quite large, easily weighing over 200 pounds. This context is important for the mental images I soon hope to impart.

At Sports Day the women would race the kids alongside the events. They would run out into the middle of the field and tackle each other. One woman ventured out in a bike, only to be run down by 3 other woman, completely blindsided, and taken to the ground. It was absolutely hilarious, and I tried my best to avoid being run down when I stood to close to the sidelines.

Unfortunately, these Tongan mothers had other plans for me. After lunch, before the finals of the events began, the schools held an impromptu concert to raise money. Basically they blasted music and called the mothers and teachers of each school to come up and dance. I had no intention of dancing in front of 500 Tongans so I tried to remain unseen, a difficult prospect as I was the only non-Tongan and stood out quite easily.

When my school was called, the MC on the microphone also shouted, “Ha’u Soni. Ha’u Pisi Koa. Come Soni. Come Peace Corps.” Before I could make any decision two of the mothers, grabbed my arms and half ran half carried me to the front. Stuck, I started dancing, and within 30 seconds I was immediately bombarded by money. Tongans, when they give money, stuff the bills into your clothes and stick them to your body. They do this because if the money falls off it traditionally means that the unmarried person is not a virgin. Feeling very much like a stripper, woman after woman put money down my shirt and in my pockets, supplying the school with plenty of money.

I ran to my principal, giving her the money and hoping that my job was done. However, she wanted more money and ushered me back into the fray. Shaking my head, I slowly walked back to the group of mothers’ eyeing me like a lion eyes an impala, silently licking their chomps. Within a few minutes the dancing got quite rough, with these 200 plus pound woman fighting over me and picking me up and shaking me. Then they decided to team up and I was grabbed, lifted, carried by 7 women like a rug, and they attempted to unbutton my shirt – not caring at all that it is actually illegal for a man to be shirtless in public in Tonga.

Freaking out, I had no idea what to do. The average age of the women was 40. They outweighed me each individually and collectively by several hundred pounds. How could I fight back?

Luckily, before they could unbutton more than one of my buttons, they dropped me. This dropping momentarily stunned the women into a silent lethargy and they helped me up. The moment I stood up, before they could act, I ran away as fast as I possibly could. Every single person at the school, maybe 500 people, was watching and laughing as hard as only Tongans can laugh. Turning bright red, I walked back to my principle, who was laughing like crazy, and told her I deserved at least a few days off for that.

Also, it is important to note. There is ZERO hyperbole or exaggeration in this story. If anything, I am not doing the event the honor it deserves and am understating it. It was crazy.

Even with this attack, the day was a great success and I had a lot of fun. Since then, I have returned with students from my school who won their events to practice with our region for the all GPS Sport Day in the capital next week. I am now the Sports Czar for the entire region, and I have to admit, I want to win.

I also wanted to update everyone with my plans. This may be my last post for several weeks. Since I will not receive a new charger until April when I see my parents, and the following week with Sports Day, Good Friday, and Easter when every store is closed, may make getting on the internet impossible. Further, I am leaving Tonga for two weeks to travel with my parents to Bali, Singapore, and Tokyo on April 3^rd, and when I return on the 13^th I have a week of Peace Corps training in Tongatapu. Thus, this will likely be my last post for a while.

I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you for reading and enjoy the photos below.