The Road Less Traveled : How to attend a Tongan Church Service

Well that depends on whether you are a Tongan, what church you are attending, or me. If you are a Tongan who belongs to the Free Wesleyan Church then you are already an old veteran, having attended numerous services and choir practices during the week and several on Sunday, including the most highly attended one, the hour long service at 10 a.m.

As a Wesleyan man you will wear a button down shirt, your tupenu (skirt), and your ta’ovala (woven mat worn around the waist and held up by a rope that is tied and knotted around the mat). If you are an older man or an important member of the church you may wear a blazer, even though the weather is suffocatingly hot. For the Wesleyan women, now this is the day to look your best. It is time to put on your nicest pule taha (Polynesian matching shirt and skirt, normally replete with tropical designs) your kiekia (female version of a ta’ovala), wear the make up you never put on any time else, and brush your hair. If you are between the ages of 8 and 30 you will also be lucky enough to wear a ridiculous pair of high heels, usually a minimum of several inches high, that for some reason are only worn during church.

During the service itself you happily sing along to all the hymns that you have known since childhood, listen carefully to the prayers, and wait for the malanga (sermon) to be presented by whoever was chosen to speak from the village this week. There may even be a collection, but that is by no means a weekly occurrence.

As a female member of the Church of Latter Day Saints, your outfit is identical to what the Wesleyan woman wear. You may not have to attend as many services as your Wesleyan brethren, but you more than make up for that with a three-hour service on Sunday from 9 am to 12 pm. For the Mormon men there is a dress code. You have to wear a white button down shirt with a tie and often a blazer, and nice black pants – possibly the only time you as a Tongan man ever wear pants.

The service itself has a clear pattern. The first hour is a normal service that includes taking Communion using bread and water, instead of the traditional wafer and red wine. The second hour you know that you will be split up into distinct groups – men, women, and youth – in order to attend a religious class taught by one of the members of the congregation. Finally, the third hour will be spent attending a mixed service and class, before your time of church is over.

If you are a member of one of the many other sects of Christianity in Tonga – Seventh Day Adventist, Catholic, Pentecostal, the Free Church of Tonga, etc – or a part of the small Baha’i minority, your services lie somewhere in between the Wesleyan and Mormon spectrums. Unfortunately, I am not as familiar with the services of the other churches and I have already spoken about the Baha’i Faith.

For me? Well, it is both the same and different. Like the other Tongans in my community, I wear a clean button down shirt, my tupenu, and the ta’ovala that I still tie poorly around my waist even after a year and a half of living here. I also stand during the hymns – silently however as I do not know the words – and seem to listen to the sermon. The difference however is that since I cannot understand what is happening (it is difficult to listen to a speech in another language and many of the words used in church are not used elsewhere) I let my mind wander, day dreaming blissfully, thinking about the future or the past, making to do lists, and deciding what movies I need to watch when I get back to the US. The trick is that while doing this to listen enough so that I know when to stand up or pay attention if they mention me specifically, which happens from time to time.

If I can’t understand what is happening, you may be asking why do I attend. The reason is two fold. The first is that church is the center of the community. The social lives of the villagers are almost exclusively revolved around the church. My community appreciates my attendance and in the rare times I do not attend Church (maybe 4 times since I have lived here) they always ask me where I was. Though I am not religious or Christian, it is a simple gesture on my part that allows me to be part of the community and a full member of the village.

The second part is that I love the Sunday staple of eating a traditional meal of lu and root crops every Sunday after the service. Tongans are extremely generous and are always sharing their meals with their neighbors. I often see two families trading their lu chicken for a lu beef to add some variety to their meal. Besides really enjoying the taste of lu, I love having the opportunity of eating with another family and temporarily becoming part of it. I tend to eat most of my meals alone in my house, so I relish the opportunity to eat with members of my community and forge a bond that comes from sharing a meal with another person. The meal allows us to have a deeper conversation in Tongan than we normally would in the quick hello conversations that dominate daily life.

Though I often eat with the same few families, I have eaten with most of the families at least once in my village and each time it has either cemented or built upon my relationship with that family. I learn something new every week and I am always touched whenever I am invited into someone’s home. It is truly one of my favorite experiences of living in Tonga, and one that I look forward to each week.

Thank you for reading. Below are the photos of Ha’apai after the destruction of Cyclone Ian, taken by PCVs Mandy Pederson and Abby Kloberdanz.