Living Alone

As far as I know, there are no homeless shelters, senior citizen homes, or orphanages in Tonga. There is no need for them. In the West we tend to think of the family as being nuclear – mother, father, brother, sister. Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, and cousins are of course very important, but in a time when people are frequently not living in the places where they grew up, families have become inevitably smaller and more scattered.

Tongans, on the other hand, take a much broader view of family. Your neighbor is your family. Your village and your community are your family. Your cousin is your brother. In fact, when I first arrived in my village, I had a difficult time figuring out who was related to who, as many cousins will refer to themselves as sisters (in Tongan and in English) and distant 3^rd or 4^th cousins are instead described as nephews and nieces. In practical distinctions these terms are wrong, as your cousin cannot be your brother, but in Tonga titles are irrelevant in comparison to the close-knit relationships with even the most distant family members.

This sense of communal family explains the lack of shelters, homes, and orphanages in Tonga. No Tongan lives alone. It is entirely possible, I could even say probable but I will play it safe, that the Peace Corps Volunteers are the only people living alone in the entire country. For Tongans living alone is unthinkable. To this day I am often asked if I am faka’ofa (sad) to live by myself. To Tongans a house is not a home without more people living inside than there are rooms or beds available. A home has your third cousin, an adopted brother, your unmarried aunt, your grandfather, and who knows who else living with you.

No one is ever in need of a home. In Tonga, like in many cultures, the elderly are revered and treated with great respect. Tongans are honored to take care of their parents and grandparents, and have them live with them in their homes. While money is viewed very differently here than in the US, no person could ever be homeless. Beyond family, any person from the same village or a neighboring village would happily allow the person to live with them. Orphanages? Informal adoptions occur all the time, and children always have a place to live, whether it is with a friend or family.

This generosity of spirit helps explain why I have been able to form such rewarding relationships with my neighbors. While I like to think some of that has been because of me and my actions, the simple fact is that by virtue of living in the village, a powerful bond automatically connects me with my neighbors. We are tied together and I will always be “their pisi koa.” So, in many ways and like my Tongan neighbors, I do not truly live alone.

Before I move on to the photos, I first wanted to give an update about Camp Grow/Glow and school. Since I received the incredibly generous donations from family and friends, Camp Grow and Glow has taken several steps forward. The other volunteers and I have worked with the High School Principals of Vava’u to create a finalized curriculum and schedule for the camps, and we have recently begun visiting the schools and leading information sessions for the Form 3 students of each high school. At these sessions we explain the goals of the camps to the students and pass out applications. Once the application are complete, the volunteers and I, in conjunction with the principals and teachers from each school, will look over the applications together to decide which students would make the best campers. There is still much work to be done, but thanks to the support from all of you back home, Camp Grow & Glow is working to accomplish our goals.

There are also some exciting developments occurring at my school. Several months ago, in an attempt to improve our somewhat dilapidated school, I applied for a grant from the Government of Japan. Though it is still a long shot that the school will receive any money, a representative of Japanese embassy came to the school this week to discuss my grant proposal and explain to me what I could do to make our application more competitive. To achieve the funds I will have to stretch the limit of my past experiences by putting together a working blueprint of what the new school would look like, as an architect would do, and also speak to several construction companies to determine the costs of each of our improvements. It is a daunting task, one that I hope to accomplish by working closely with the teachers and PTA, but I am incredibly excited about the possibility of transforming the school and leaving something substantial behind that will remain long after I am gone.

Thank you all for reading and please enjoy the photos.

Zumba in one of my villages