A Family Affair

Two weeks ago I was generously invited to two family events, a reunion and a wedding. When invited, I of course, was only too quick to acquiesce to both requests as the two events featured my favorite Tongan cultural event – the feast. I know I have spoken about feasts ad nauseam in this blog, and for good reason as they are delicious and quite filling, but these two events also demonstrate well how the current Tongan culture blends the modern with the traditional and incorporates the international diversity of the Tongan family.

One day during school, my counterpart Paea invited me to his wife Sihoi’s family reunion in the nearby village of ‘Utui. Trying to play the affair down, Paea told me that they were planning on having a small bbq with a few visiting family members from overseas in attendance on the following Saturday. He offered that if I had nothing better to do than I should come. After assuring him that I without a doubt had nothing to do, as is usually the case on the weekends, I promised I would be there.

That Saturday, not to be deterred by the torrential downpour devastating the island at the time, I picked up my umbrella and commenced the 2 to 3 mile walk to the bbq. While umbrellas are not particularly useful instruments when the wind blows the rain sideways, I was determined to celebrate with Paea and fill my stomach. An hour and a half later, soaked through and through, I arrived at the house to, of course, not see a causal bbq.

In front of the house a large tent had been assembled. Around the tent were balloons and large leaves, attempting to beautify the structure. There were 3 long tables set up, covered with all the feast staple.s Under the tent and sheltered within the house, were over 100 family members from Tonga, New Zealand, Australia, and the US, as well as half the village of ‘Utui. I quickly found out that this was not just a family reunion we were celebrating but also the patriarch of the family’s 90^th birthday.

I spotted Paea and went over to him to joke with him about the scale of the feast and ask him how many pigs he had to contribute to this celbration, an expensive proposition. After assuring me he only donated 3 pigs, but that he missed school on Friday because he we was driving from village to village looking for a few cows to buy and kill for the feast, the conversation went something like this:

Me: I thought you said this was a small bbq?

Paea: Yea, I though it was. It kind of became something more.

Me: Sharing a laugh at this understatement I responded, “You know…in the US when you invite someone to a bbq it’s usually just a few guys throwing a couple of burgers and dogs on a grill.”

Paea: After laughing, “Not in Tonga. Here, food is always a serious business.”

The feast itself was great, but what was more interesting was conversing with all the family, an interesting collection of Tongans of different generations living all around the world. I spoke to a Tongan that lived in Houston and worked for United Airlines and his son, who having been born in America can’t speak Tongan. I met a student around my age, who grew up in New Zealand and is currently studying in Sidney. And on and on it went. As is usually the case with large Tongan gatherings, it was an eclectic affair of world travelers and surprising back-stories. Though two things were of course the same. First, the food was plentiful and second, as happens at every event, the men and women, to celebrate after the feast was done, started making whooping noises that I cannot faithfully describe while dancing in the most ridiculous manner. The amount of laughter could be heard for miles as an 80 your old man “grinded” with a 55 year old woman in the rain in the Tongan fashion, and it reminded me that you never truly lose the culture you are born with no matter where you go in your life or how long you live abroad. Some things simply never change.

I did not take any food back with me when Paea drove me home, as I had another feast waiting for me the next day. As the actual wedding occurred the day before, the feast on Sunday was a low-key affair. We enjoyed the normal church service, which was followed by yet another feast in yet another tent. This time, however, I had prime sitting real estate, as I was positioned directly across from one of the roasted pigs. As always I ate my full and spoke with what is happily becoming my more confident Tongan, which I am fortunate to say is surprisingly getting much better and allowing me to engage in deeper conversations with the Tongans in my villages.

When the feast was over, typical Tonganess erupted. Men, women, boys, and girls, and even one infant who I saw grasping a root crop, started attacking the left overs and bringing heaps, and yes heaps is actually an accurate term in this setting, of food back to their house. Since my fridge was decently full already, I just grabbed some root crop, said my thanks and goodbyes, and started to walk away. One of the women, however, seeing my hands almost empty of food, stopped me and before I could argue grabbed a cardboard box for me. She then cut a huge chuck of pig for me, while also throwing noodles, chicken, fish, and everything within her reach into the box. When the food frenzy was finally finished, I had about 10 pounds of food to bring home, including the entire hind leg, with the attached foot, of a roasted adolescent pig. Chuckling as I was walked home, I only could marvel at the assortment of goodies I was bringing back and how it all had come about.

Thank you all for reading. Please enjoy the photos of these two family affairs.

Feast #2

Feast #1

The birthday boy and a half devoured pig

Things That Go Bite in the Night

I have had a very good past few weeks. Katherine came to visit, the Peace Corps grant for Camp Glow and Grow was approved, and just today a representative from the Japanese embassy came to talk to me about a grant that could potentially provide a much needed renovation to my school, easily one of the most dilapidated in Vava’u. Things are going very well, but one unfortunate incident did occur that I thought would be interesting to recount in my blog.

About two weeks ago, a few days after Katherine left, I was a bit by a venomous centipede called a molokau. I have mentioned the molokau in previous posts, but to really show it’s true nature, I want to quote directly from the Peace Corps Tonga Medical Handbook:

“An adult [centipede] can be 20 cm. or more in length and has a pair of poison glands at the head…The bite is intensely painful. The area around the bite quickly becomes red and very swollen. Additional symptoms may also include headache, dizziness, vomiting, painful swelling of the lymph glands, and local muscle spasms.”

In other words, these centipedes are big, aggressive, and their bite packs a punch. If you don’t believe how ridiculous these centipedes actually are, youtube molokau vs. mouse to see first hand for yourself. Further, the use of the underline for the word painful was the Peace Corps’ decision, not my own.

Before I go any further, let me first set the scene. It was 6:30 in the morning and I was comfortably asleep in my bed on a chilly, for Tonga, Saturday. A restless sleeper, I switched over to my right side moving my left hand underneath the pillow, a sleeping position I have long perfected. As I was slowly moving my hand under the pillow, more asleep than awake in that happy medium where your not aware of anything except for fact you know you will be back asleep, dead to the world, in a matter of seconds.

All of a sudden I feel a prick on my left pinky. I don’t know what it is. I feel a pinch of pain but I just assume I brushed against a nail or piece of sand – it is still unclear to me why I thought this – and am more surprised than hurt. No big deal. 20 seconds later my finger starts to noticeably burn. No worries. 30 seconds later my pinky really hurts. I finally open my eyes and look at my finger. There is a little blood but I still don’t understand what is happening. A minute later, my finger is throbbing, the pain even greater than the time I broke my wrist in middle school and I’m racking my brain trying to figure out what can possibly cause this much pain with such a little cut. My finger is now starting to turn red, and the appearance of swelling that will soon dominate my entire hand is beginning to reveal itself.

I then realize that it’s a molokau. Nothing in Tonga can strike so painfully other than the ugly centipede. The last few days have been raining, and I think to myself that that is exactly when they love to come into a dry house. I have seen a few over the past few months but can they really climb up into my bed while I am asleep? I guess so.

I jump out of bed, swallow two Advil, and open my medical handbook. No useful information except for the underlined word painful and the paragraph I quoted above. It is now 6:45. We have a new Peace Corps doctor in Tonga, who is great but who I didn’t know well at the time, and I feel immensely guilty for calling so early on really the only day off in Tonga as Sunday is consumed by the Church and everything is closed. I can’t do it. I sit on a chair, far away from my bed for now, the entire left side of my hand throbbing and turning red, and wait until 7 to call the doctor. When we speak she is helpful and assures me that there is nothing to worry about, but tells me the only treatment is ice and advil.

Being in Tonga, I of course don’t have ice so I go about making some in my fridge, a process that takes a few hours. I now want proof of the molokau and, of course, vengeance. I search my bed, finding it tucked between my mattress and the bed frame. I one-handedly try to kill it, fail miserably, and allow it to get away without ever exacting the punishment for its crime. The culprit still remains at large, but I have not seen it since that fateful day.

For an hour the pain is “intense.” I like to think I have a relatively high pain threshold – again I have no logical reason for believing this - but I have never experienced any significant injury besides a few broken bones, and this hour was about as painful a time as I can remember. Luckily, the real pain only lasted for an hour, and after that everything became much more manageable. My hand swelled up to about three times its normal size, getting marginally smaller and smaller over the course of the next three days until it returned to the correct size. Getting bitten was by no means a fun experience, but it was certainly a Peace Corps one and I think it made for some interesting blog material. I hope you all can agree, and thus the pain did not occur for naught.

As always thanks for reading and enjoy the remaining photos of my house.

My bedroom, a.k.a. the scene of the crime

My house, which the Tongans sometimes call faka'ofa (sad) because it is rare for a house not to be painted

The neatest my shelf has ever been

My kitchen, grill, dining table, hang out spot, shelf, and work station

Doing the Tourist Thing

Before I get to my next post, I want to thank all of my readers for their incredible generosity in donating money to Camp Glow and Grow. After only a week of fundraising, we have almost raised all of the money we need. I had tremendous faith in my friends and family, but I am still blown away by the quickness of these donations. I cannot accurately express in words how much it means to me. Some of the donors have emailed me and I have done my best to thank them, but for anyone else who has donated anonymously thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Now on to this weeks subject. While I will not go into too much detail of Katherine’s visit or address anything too personal, we had several experiences so incredible that I would feel negligent if I failed to report them to you, my faithful readers.

After a few days staying at my house, Katherine and I spent two days at a resort in town. I knew the owner, Tai, a little from some interactions we had had in town and I knew his girlfriend relatively well as she is a dentist and comes to my school every week to brush the kids teeth, but I was still incredibly surprised and happy when they invited us to join them for a family reunion and barbecue.  Tai’s family from Melbourne was in town and they were planning to take a boat out to the beautiful and uninhabited island of Nuku, which I had never been to before. It is also important to mention that the family was incredibly nice and fun, consisting of several generations of Tongan Australians, and including two professional rugby players, one in Manchester and the other in Tokyo.

30 minutes later, we squeezed into a Tongan boat with 20 of the family members and were on our way. Katherine was dubious at first about the boat, but I convinced her to sit on the top for some fresh air and her first view of the harbor and the islands. Our time at the island was no less spectacular, as we swam, talked, enjoyed a few beers, and feasted on a meal of lamb roasted over an open fire, grilled fish, and breadfruit fries. The island itself was stunning, offering crystal clear water, the most beautiful soft sand I’ve seen in Tonga, and tremendous views of the other islands – Katherine and I counted some 12 in total that we could see just from our one spot.

On the way back, we stopped into Swallows Cave, which I have mentioned before, and swam in this colorful and calm opening in the rock, gaping at the hordes of bats sleeping on the ceiling. I had never swum in the cave before and it was an incredible experience. As I told Katherine when we got back, it was easily the best day I have had in Tonga and one of the best of my life. The setting could not have been better and the company with Katherine and the extremely generous and fun Tongan family was outstanding. And the best part – it was completely spontaneous. There was no planning. We woke up, were invited, went, and were catered to a once in a lifetime experience. It was beautiful.

The next two events might not have been able to top the impromptu family reunion we were invited too, but they were special in their own right. The next day we joined a group of Peace Corps Volunteers and their visiting friends and family on a gorgeous wooden catamaran for a day of sailing and snorkeling. Though we went to some of the same sports as the bbq, neither of us could ever get tired of the spectacular views and the company was again special. This time we snorkeled for this first time on her visit, gazing at an array of underwater life of breathtaking coral, everyone’s favorite clown fish, mesmerizing parrotfish, and so much more that I had no idea how to identify. Finally, for the icing on the cake, on our return to the wharf we were greeted with a school of bottlenose dolphins only yards from the boat. This is an incredibly rare site in Tonga and I had never seen dolphins in the wild before, so my mouth literally dropped to the floor. With their fins slicing through the water eerily like sharks and their playful but sporadic jumps out of the ocean, I could not have asked for a better ending.

For our last adventure, the whole group went to a Spanish tapas restaurant on the island of Tapana. (Tapas on Tapana? I couldn’t make this stuff up) The restaurant is run by a Spanish family from Valencia who has lived in Tonga for over 20 years. We took a taxi to a nearby beach and then hopped on two somewhat sketchy boats to arrive at an island uninhabited except for the restaurant and this one family. It was a surreal experience stepping off the Tongan boat, walking up the steps, and ascending into a tapas restaurant if not fresh out of Spain at least definitely not out of Tonga. There was even a pet goat named Socrates.

The restaurant was as authentic as a restaurant can be in Tonga and the food was exceptional. With total honesty, we consumed the best tapas I have ever eaten and Katherine thoroughly enjoyed it as well (Disclosure: She has photos of all the food in the likely event no one believes how good the food actually was). We gorged on paella, one of my all-time favorite dishes, and a myriad of starters and tapas including gazpacho, croquettes, liver on toasted tortillas, crab on cucumber wedges, tuna tacos, and more that I can barely describe – as you can see fish and Spanish cuisine are my two identifying weak spots. The food was absolutely delicious, the experience novel, and at the end we were regaled with music as the patriarch of the family sang in a confusing mix of Spanish, Tongan, and English while playing the guitar, harmonica, and taking periodic sips of his beer. To repeat the buzzword of this post, it was a special night.

I could continue to discuss all of the adventures we experienced, but then this post would never end and there would be nothing to surprise all of you when you undoubtedly visit me in Tonga (hint, hint). But in all seriousness, Katherine’s visit was truly spectacular and it was absolutely the pick me up I needed to continue to flourish until I am back in the States in December.

Thank you all for reading and enjoy the photos.

Katherine and I at the Spanish tapas restaurant in Tapana

The beautiful island of Nuku

A dolphin right by the boat

Camp GLOW & GROW

During my amazing vacation in Tonga with Katherine, I finally heard back from the Peace Corps with the news I had long been waiting for – my grant application had finally been approved. In order to get the ball rolling on my project as soon as possible and with Katherine leaving for America today, this post will discuss my camp program, with next week’s post detailing the incredible (and touristy) week and a half I spent with Katherine with pictures galore.

There is a link on the Peace Corps website where you can donate funds to the project and read a description about the what Camp GLOW (Girls Leading Our World) and GROW (Guys Reshaping Our World) are all about, but before I copy the link and rather than paste the description of the camps onto my blog I will instead explain our goals (I am working with three other volunteers and numerous Tongans) in my own words.

Camp GLOW is an internationally recognized program focusing on women’s empowerment and is run by Peace Corps Volunteers in countries throughout the world. The girls’ camp in Vava’u will cover important issues facing women in Tonga such as sexual health, the rights of women and children, and sexual harassment and domestic abuse. Camp GLOW was brought to Tonga in the past decade, and was successfully run in Vava’u the last few years.  With the main island deciding to cancel Camp GLOW this year and with only one female volunteer in charge of CAMP GLOW Vava’u, myself and several other male volunteers offered to help run the female camp.

After corroborating on the curriculum development of the girls camp, the other volunteers and I quickly saw the potential importance of what we were doing and lamented the absence of a boy’s camp. We did a little research to see if Camp GLOW had ever been successfully paired with a boys’ camp, and with the exception of a few small efforts, we were disappointed to see there were no such existing camps for young men. Thus, Camp GROW was born.

This year we are taking the top 20 girls and 15 boys from the Form 3 level of all the high schools in Vava’u – roughly grade 9 and 14 years old – and placing them into a boys and girls camp. The two camps will work parallel with each other and will come together when the topics apply to both sexes, but each camp will have its own mission with GLOW focusing of female empowerment and the rights of women and with GROW exploring vocational opportunities, healthy lifestyles, non-violence, women’s rights, and environmental responsibility.

Finally, before I post the link to donate, I want to say one thing first. The decision of whether or not to donate to charity or of what charity to choose is an extremely personal one. The last thing I want to do is stand up on a soapbox, preaching to my readers to donate to my charity. Only you can decide if you wish to donate money. There are many charities and organizations in much greater need of funds and with more important aims than my project. There are places where money can be sent to save lives and cure diseases. In all honesty, Camp GLOW and GROW will not do that.

However, if you want to contribute a little money to a project that I am working on and running, want to donate to Tonga, or wish to give your money knowing that 100% percent of your contribution will go to the project rather than to salaries or lost in bureaucracy, then I can promise GLOW and GROW will accomplish that. While we will not save lives or cure disease, I do strongly believe the project will do some good and have a profound affect upon the lives of these children. We are asking for $4,000 from the US (with the plan of raising the other $4,000 within Tonga) and I will be forever grateful to whoever decides to donate to this cause. Donations are completely anonymous, but if you do wish to let me know that you gave money, please email me so I can keep you updated on the project and know of your generosity.

The link to donate is www.peacecorps.gov/donate. To find the project just enter the Project # of 13-421-001 into the search engine and it will pop up. The page can also be found by entering Tonga or A. Pederson (the name of the female volunteer running Camp GLOW) into the search boxes.

Thank you all so much for your support. I cannot truly express into words how much it means to me and how much I appreciate any contribution you may make.

Happy 4^th of July!

 Having cleaned my house like I have never cleaned my house for Katherine's arrival, I figured that this would be a good time to take pictures of my house. This is my kitchen/common room/dining room - basically the room I do everything in except shower and sleep.

The same room from the other end. The white bucket in the right corner is my water filter.